LOVE

The simplest thing about love, is saying it. Love is not an emotion, but an ability. So many mistake the concept of love to be that which is a feeling, but as we all know, feelings are temporary, transient, and they fluctuate. Love is unconditional, everlasting and permanent. You are either incapable or capable of it. You may think you are one or the other, but it is in your actions that it becomes apparent.

Consider being able to walk or run, or ride a bicycle. It is learnt, acquired over time, developed and progressed. And as these different skills have various levels of competence, so it is with love. You have to engulf yourself with the qualities of love in order to become better at it. Like a runner has a specific diet, trains regularly, and perhaps has a professional trainer.

You need to teach yourself how to forgive, how to accept, how to trust, how to be vulnerable; emotionally naked so to speak, how to think of another’s needs before your own. You need to ask yourself questions and analyse your reactions, dig deep into your mental psyche and search the core of who you are and ask why you are that way, read books, write notes, listen to music, and discuss matters, communicate on an open and honest level and LISTEN.

Once you have learnt a lesson once or twice you need to practice it, at every opportunity that comes your way. It’s easy to give up and ignore what is there, shove it aside in a safe little box of iron protection. It’s difficult and frustrating, even exhausting at times, with the temptation to say “it’s just not working”, “I’ve tried everything”, “Maybe we’re just not meant for each other”, “it’s too painful” and so the excuses continue.

But ultimately, the goal (to be capable of love) is worth every tear, every angry word, and every spiteful thought. If you remain focused and have enough desire and perseverance eventually the concept becomes second nature to you.

Suddenly patience, understanding, compassion and commitment are born. Before you know it you are demonstrating the actions of someone that indeed “loves” and others around you can see it visibly.

You become unwittingly open to sacrifice and compromise, you go that extra mile in every which way you can to ensure the happiness of another, you encompass every bit of a loving nature and absorb as much of the other as you possibly can so as to learn and grow and become intelligibly knowledgeable of the other’s needs, wants, desires, passions, likes, dislikes, fears, dreams and secrets.

But as the old cliché states, love is also a two-way street. It is impossible to achieve alone. In order to obtain love both party’s need to be consistently working towards the same goal. One cannot learn more, or understand more, if the other refuses to be honest, refuses to answer, refuses to share.

One may be “better” at it than the other, but in love comes assistance, encouragement and the selfless desire to help. Love cannot be forced, or brainwashed into existence. You need to have two open hearts full of passion, craving and aching for the other. The thought of a life without the other actively present in it, needs to be unbearable.

It is not indifferent, or arrogant, or proud. The ingredients for the recipe of the ability to love are crucial. If there are not two people who want the one just as much as the other it is like trying to bake cake without raising flour, destined to flop!

That is the beauty and magic of love: the ability to possess all the essentials and combine them, conjure them up, not distort, taint or abuse them, but have them all in perfect harmony, all encompassing unity in a permanent state, remaining unaffected by slip-ups, weakness, or interference.

In spite of worldly worries and concerns, the mundane hum-drum and rat-race society, love prevails. And once achieved, how can anyone possibly dispute its worth, value or importance.

Love is THE ability we ALL want to be capable of, if you think you don’t need it, don’t want it, can have a fulfilling and happy life without it - you are either in denial, crippled by fear, or trying to convince yourself otherwise. And yet so few are.

Ask yourself, “Do I want to be capable of love?” And if your answer is “No”, I then challenge you, are you human? After all, what else is there to live for? What else is there to DIE for? What other ability surpasses the celestial awe of love?

I quote Seth (Nicholas Cage) from the film “City of Angels”:
“I would rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her lips, one touch of her hand... than an eternity without it.”

THAT... is love.

Concern yourself with what matters. With what counts. With what nothing and no-one can take away from you. And become capable of LOVE.