WHAT IS LOVE ANYWAY?
Looking back on it all now I realise
that I've been completely wrong about the idea of love my entire
life. Something I craved, something I didn't really ever get to
experience, something I don't think I've ever really understood.
Although the whole time up until this point I truly believed I knew
exactly what is was.
Movies tell you what it is, cheesy
radio treffers tell you what it is, your parents, family and maybe
even some friends try to tell you what love is... perhaps you've read
some books, or internet articles, some pages in Cosmo... and when you
think you feel it or are somewhere close to it, you convince yourself
that it's true. “This must be true love!” How silly. How sad.
I've been serial dating (in and out of
relationships) since the tender age of 16. I am now turning 28.
That's 12 full years with very little time in between of long-term
serious relationships with a few flings here and there. There was
ALWAYS a guy. There was also a whole ton of disappointment and
heartache.
It's a fairly odd place to be in. This
whole time I was searching for love I wonder have I lost myself...
Who am I alone? Who am I without a boyfriend or love interest? Am I
ok just to be me, whoever that is?
I find it incredibly concerning that
love is THE most important thing on earth and yet every single person
that is here right now seems to get it wrong. In the Bible we are
told to Love Thy neighbour as you Love Yourself. Hmmm. That's it.
That's why. We are all suffering from the same human condition. We
don't love ourselves. But why? If you loved yourself would you treat
others as you would want to be treated? Would you? Why don't we love
ourselves? I'm not talking about superficial looking at yourself in
the mirror. Going to gym. Enjoying a chocolate because you “deserve
it”
I'm talking about being 100% happy,
content & accepting of who you are. But you don't like who you
are. You compare yourself to everyone else on Facebook. You look at
your friend and wish you could be as fit. You look to celebrities and
wish you had the financial freedom to do whatever you want. You
pensively stare at advertising whilst day dreaming that “if you
could just have this or that”, THEN you would be happy... You look
at your neighbour and you envy them, you don't love them as you love
yourself. How can you truly love anyone when you don't love yourself
to begin with?
We've all been homeschooled but in the
wrong home, we were created TO love, and we've just NEEDED love.
Always needing someone else to validate our existence, prove our
worth, satisfy that limitless black hole inside of us that needs to
be filled with something or someone or we'll just feel empty forever
right? Wrong. The majority of this world is dog eat dog. Somewhere,
something has gone completely whack. We were not created to be this
way, live this way or think this way.
If anything we were absolutely created
for the opposite. We are supposed to GIVE without wanting anything in
return. We are supposed to be kind and considerate of our fellow man.
We are supposed to treasure and nurture our animals and our planet.
We are supposed to put the needs of others before our own. We were
created to be SELFLESS and yet we are all 100% SELFISH.
If something or someone doesn't serve
you and you have “nothing” to gain from it, it's a waste of your
time. Your very dear, oh so precious time. I mean, how can anyone
dare to take up any of that.
My question, however, is... what does
it have to do with YOU? If you really, truly, deeply loved yourself
as one should, you would be so content in the fact that you are so
happy to just be, helping someone doesn't necessarily HAVE TO benefit
you in any way at all, because, you are YOU and that is enough. Being
available to consider what someone else may need without being “paid
back” in any shape or form is a gift. It's a blessing. THIS IS WHY
WE ARE HERE. This is why we are born into family, why we have have
formed communities, towns, cities and countries. Why we were placed
upon this beautiful earth not alone. Why we procreate. Why we exist.
We are here to surrender ourselves and be there for each other,
support each other, encourage each other, offer ourselves, our time,
our blessings and our talents to those that need it.
There's friendship for a reason. There
are relationships for a reason. But above all, there is love for a
reason. It's easy to love your friend who you have sooo much in
common with and hang out with all the time. It's easy to love your
cat.
In fact, sometimes your friends drive
you nuts. Sometimes your cat pees in your gym bag. Then what
happens..? “How could you do this TO ME?” Why are you putting ME
through this, why do I have to listen to this shit?” etc etc etc.
Oh yeah how life has for centuries been all about ME, MYSELF AND I.
Even that, is not love. Love doesn't
hold a record of wrongs. Love forgives, love turns the other cheek.
Love is unconditional. Love sees the good not the bad. Love believes
the best in someone. Love looks to bring the best out in someone.
Love seeks nothing in return but just is. Love is respectful. Love
doesn't just take what it needs for as long as it needs it and then
disappears into an abyss. As if there was basically nothing between
the two individuals who shared their so-called misinterpretation of
the word, so as to continue in their little journey alone until they
find the next person to fill that need. Love is taking careful
consideration for what is best for the OTHER not just yourself. Love
is GENUINELY WANTING the best for someone else, as much as yourself.
LOVE NEVER FAILS. LOVE NEVER GIVES UP.
Love is everlasting, eternal, forever.
Love is the only thing that can ever stand the test of time and I
honestly wonder if ANYONE exists out there who even asks themselves
these types of questions because for too long, I myself have been
blinded, misguided, lost in the whirlwind of media hype of what
“love” really looks like.
I feel like right now for the first
time in my life the mask has been lifted. The blindfold has been
obliterated into smithereens. There is nothing that could possibly
occur that could ever change the revelation I've been taught over
these past years, Thank God, literally. I thank God for teaching me.
Despite the pain, despite the heartache, despite the tears, I thank
Him because He has been trying to teach my stubborn heart the same
lesson over and over again, and finally the truth has not only been
revealed but believed!
I believe love is brave, courageous,
fearless. Love isn't scared to show itself boldly. Love doesn't play
games, love doesn't hide, pretend or lie to protect itself. Love has
no shame. Love is vulnerable. Love trusts without holding back. Love
is gentle, patient and pure. Love is free.
Love is powerful and CAN conquer all.
Love is for everyone and everything. Not just those you choose, not
just those you like or share common interests with. Love is for the
lady behind the Clicks counter, love is for the angry driver that cut
in front of you, love is for the homeless person asking for bread,
love is for your Gran while she asks you the same question for the
10th time, love is for your sister even after she broke
your favourite pair of shoes. Love just is. Not because someone
earned it. Love is for your worst enemy because they probably need it
most. Not because you feel guilty or obliged. Not because “it's the
right thing to do.”
Love has been lost. But if you find it,
for yourself, for others and for the world, it's the most valuable
treasure you shall ever possess. I pray you all find it, keep it and
live it, forever.
*Photography: Justin Dingwall
